Words. They’re what I’m about. I use them to communicate; we all do. And when you’re aiming to communicate to an audience through writing, when you’ve set goals for yourself to accomplish such, sometimes it can feel like the pressure’s on. I wrote about that last week. But I’m reminded there’s no pressure. Just process. Progress. So can I let you in a little on how the process has been going this week? Honestly, It feels like little progress has been made. There were lots of words this week. There were things I could have, and felt like I should have, written about. But getting those words together in order to communicate what I thought they should proved to be a struggle. Then there were no words. The enemy is always on the prowl, but he seemed to be in overdrive in my life this week. There were feelings of failure and defeat and thoughts of, “How can I possibly have anything of consequence to say when I just. Can’t. Seem. To. Get. It. Together.?”
Granted, I think there’s a difference between deceiving oneself into thinking she can write and try to encourage people to do and think right, when she’s not doing so herself and has an unrepentant spirit. However, when we’re honest with the Lord about our struggles and seeking His forgiveness, I think it’s merely a tool of the enemy when we start to think we’re unworthy or have nothing to offer. We’re not and we don’t, at least not on our own. But the Lord bestows value and uses willing vessels to speak through.
So then there are these words. And right now, they’re the ones I feel most compelled to share–mostly because today I desperately needed to be reminded of them. So here’s a repost from the archives (originally posted here):
Just when I thought as though I had nothing left to give, that I had let God into the deepest recesses of my heart, I hear Him whisper, “Let me go deeper. Invite me in.”
He loves me enough to go there? To the places I’ve let no one go, have hardly dared to go myself?
Well, doesn’t He already know what’s there? Yes. He knows better than I do. What’s the point then of voicing it to Him, then?
“But it’s too painful to talk about, God. I don’t want to go there.”
Gently, He says, “Come, My child. Tell Me what’s there. Tell Me what hurts.”
“Why, God? You already know…”
“I want to heal you,” He says tenderly. “Let me.”
“…for I am the LORD, your Healer.” Exodus 15:26