Before bed bugs and breakups,
I knew difficulty in different ways.
But afterwards,
I knew grace–
and God’s goodness–
and God–
anew.

Under the umbrella of unemployment,
I underestimated the enemy’s power
and pleasure
in helping me dig my own grave
of self-pity,
self-hate,
self-doubt,
self.

I lay at the bottom of the grave,
look upward.
Long way up.
Lift my hand to take His,
be lifted out.

On the upward climb,
I see:
grace more sufficient
goodness more great
God more love–
God more God.
I know God anew again,
and know anew again
that He knows me–
and loves me still.

I would not choose again
to put myself at the bottom
of that grave,
but I’m thankful
for the upward climb out,
for the return to the surface,
where true life lives,
for knowing God anew.

And I’m thankful for the future
“bed bugs” and “breakups” and “unemployments,”
to know God anew all over again.
—————————————-
written 6/8/12

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