I think I should forewarn you that this will probably be a long entry. So, if you’re up for it, go grab yourself a cup of tea or something, come back, and sit tight.
Today we had a tornado warning, and nothing came of it. When I got back from Anders’ fundraiser (my friend Anders has epilepsy and had a fundraiser to help pay for the $7500 seizure dog he will be getting), it was about 7:15ish or so, and clouds were moving in. I thought this big storm was on its way, and even though I knew my camera battery was dying, I figured I’d go down to the beach and capture some shots of the waves or something–it sounded pretty adventurous to me. While I was driving down there, I thought, “If I wasn’t called to ministry, I think I’d like to be a storm-chaser.” Ha.
I got to the beach, and… no storm. At all. No waves. Just a gentle lull of the water slowly sliding up the shore, then receding. I was slightly disappointed. But the sky, it was gorgeous. It took one look, and I was glad I came down. I snapped a few shots, and then my battery called it quits. The sky was so gorgeous that I wished that my battery wasn’t dead so I could capture it some more, but then I didn’t mind so much. In fact, I was glad. Sometimes, it just seems fitting not to capture something like that. It almost made it more special. And less.. technical. When I’m taking pictures, I want just the right angle. Just the right lighting. Putting the camera down allowed me to just be able to look around and drink it all in. It made me feel as though I were destined for that moment–destined to be at the beach, at that time, when the sky was so beautiful, with my God.
It seemed as though a moment that needed not to be captured. It was captured in my mind (I know that sounds so cheesy)–and it’s a memory that I will always cherish. Those times always are–walks on the beach with my God.
So I walked. I walked, and I talked, and I soaked in the beauty. The beauty of my God. I say that–my God–because I can. Because He’s my God. But I don’t say it lightly or ignore the privilege that it is to be able to call Him my God. And I know that that privilege came at a price–the price of His Son.
At one point, I stopped. I stopped and turned around in a circle. And I realized that no photographer or artist would be able to capture all of that in one photo or painting. Just in that one spot, there was so much to take in that it could not be accurately captured. And that spot is just one miniscule sliver of a beautiful town in a beautiful state in a beautiful country on a beautiful planet in a beautiful galaxy in a beautiful universe. And I thought, how many more masterpieces has God painted right at this moment, and how many of them are unseen by human eyes? And that is my God. I know Him. I felt like Elf in Gimbel’s when he found out Santa was coming: “SANTAAAA!! I KNOW HIM!” You know how people are. If they know somebody famous, it’s like, wow. But I know God. I know Him. Like Elf knows Santa. And I don’t know Him as I should and never will fully know Him, but just the fact that I can know such a vast, amazing God even just a little boggles me. And even more than that, He knows me–better than I know myself. Sometimes I think I know myself so well. I think I know exactly who I am and exactly what I want. But then there are times when I feel like I have no idea who I am or what I want. But God knows. He knew before the foundations of the earth all of the moments and choices and decisions and events of my life. This God, the God of the Universe, knows me. And loves me. He loves me so much that He took extraordinary measures to make relationship with me possible. He killed His Son. He sacrificed fellowship with His beloved, perfect Son, to bring such a worm as I into fellowship with Him. And He pursues me. Not because He has anything new to learn about me, but so that I will be drawn to Him. It baffles me to think that such a God, THE God, desires intimacy with me.
I could go on forever, but I won’t. I’m just thankful for tonight. I’m thankful for beautiful, visible reminders of how beautiful and great God is, and what a privilege it is to know and love and serve Him. I’m thankful for how reminders like that inspire me to stop getting tripped up over little things (even though I know I never will completely, because I’m human, but I try), and start living every moment to reflect my love for this Awesome Creator, but more importantly, His love for me and for others.